Before I dive in to why I am no longer vegan, its important for me to mention how I became vegan in the first place and why.

When I came home from University I was emersed in a bodybuilding lifestyle. I was eating lots of protein and clean carbs but I didn’t eat many fruits and I was also taking a lot of supplements. At that time I started dating my ex boyfriend who was really into UFC and he introduced to me the Mike Dolce Diet and I started following his recipes and tips. Mike Dolce is a Mixed Martial Arts coach specialized in helping athletes with weight cut. One of his tips, probably the most important one for me, was to read all labels and if you don’t recognize an ingredient chances are your body won’t recognize it either.

I competed in The Jay Cutler Classic in Boston in the Bikini weighing 127 which was the leanest I had ever been and honestly I could easily say it was one of the coolest thing I have ever done in my life! I stayed with the Dolce Diet mindset but at this moment I had cut so many things out of my diet in order to compete that the only animal derived protein sources I consumed were chicken and eggs. Occasionally I would get bison but I also had cut all dairy which made switching to a vegetarian diet quite easily.

I became vegetarian because I was brought to the attention of a few environmental and social issues in the world. My co-worker, who was a vegetarian, instructed me not to simply follow his advice but to do my own research and find out if it was something that I wanted to try. So I did. I went home and a few videos later I decided not only I wanted to stop eating meat I wanted to become vegan. What made the decision happen was how animals are treated in these slaughter houses and I questioned how necessary animal protein was to humans and could I get the protein I needed from other sources?

I was never against people who ate meat, I think everyone is entitled to live life as they please and my friends also respected my new choice and were even willing to try some of my vegan recipes. My step dad Mark and I even did a weekend eating vegan foods in New York City, which he attested that it was better than expected.

I was vegan for a little over one year and this was the healthiest I had ever been in my life and it lasted until the day I was involved in a car crash and had my left arm amputated. I could barely stand up and food became my last priority. Along with the sadness I felt I gained over 30lbs, I wasn’t motivated, I was angry and honestly I was so far from myself that everything I used to be was nothing but a memory. Luckily one day I knew I had to get back out there, get my life back so I rejoined the gym and my parents took me everyday. Soon I started to cook again, slowly, I started to make better choices and eating more intuitively. I tried to go back to being vegan but this time it felt one hundred times harder than the first time.

If it wasn’t for the car crash I might still have been vegan today, but I decided to continue eating healthy, natural, organic, earth grown foods as much as possible. I don’t regret going vegan, it has taught me great recipes and great cooking alternatives. Even though I am no longer vegan, I am ok if there is no meat in my meals. I think when we are too rigid with ourselves cutting this, cutting that, going on these crash diets, it can be worse for us in the long term and if you think that you want to eat healthy foods more than unhealthy foods than that is 51% of the time.

I believe making healthy choices for the body and the mind to be the base for self love. You know what is good for you, what is nutritious, what is going to fuel your body and your mind, its just a matter of choosing more of that daily.